Ok Ladies.You can understand this secret weapon to lose a few pounds...fighting a weakness with another weakness...SHOPPING! I found a really awesome summer top and bought it just a size too small!   I tried it on and I can wear it but it's a little too snug so really isn't flattering unless I lose a few pounds.  I tried it on again this morning and I plan on trying it on whenever I get the urge to binge!   I can't wait to be able to wear it!  I cringe at the thought of wasting money if I can't wear it THIS summer so I have to get going right away because summer doesn't last very long!  I feel the appetite suppressant effects working already LOL.  If this plan works I'll have to find something really special to be ready to fit into by fall!

I'm certainly not a weight loss inspiration for anyone that's for sure. I'm really struggling right now because of stress eating!  I'm under so much stress and pain right now and the only way I'm coping is eating starchy, fattening comfort food of the kind that makes me gain weight no matter how little I eat!  I thought I had a handle on it but it keeps fighting back and I'm getting so discouraged and even had several episodes of binge eating.  I probably gained this month!!! So I made two major decisions to resolve a couple of the issues that I CAN take control over that have been causing major stress in my life. It was really hard but I feel a little better now.  If I can change the things that I can control maybe I can regain control over my eating :-) I'm not going to give up.  I just have to find a way to deal with stress without using food!

Happy Memorial Day to everyone. Salute to all our men and women in uniform.

Well it's been a bad week. My neck and back flared up badly (I have degenerative disc disease) and I've barely been moving and I've gotten depressed and so eating "bad" stuff.  Again this morning I was in so much pain that I was going to skip another water fitness class.  Instead I forced myself to go.  My effort was far from 100% and I really struggled at times but I'm glad I went. The Y has a whirlpool with some great jets that helped some with the spasms.  I managed to do a little bit of yard work despite my discomfort too. It was only about 20 minutes but it was better than sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself.  I did a few  hikes in the neighborhood with the kids too. Again it wasn't much but I managed to get in short bursts of activity throughout the day.  I was very surprised just now to find that my efforts amounted to 5.6 miles! SO....I ended up having a very productive day!  I'm pretty miserable now and I'm definitely going to have to crank up my heated mattress pad (wonderful to have a toasty bed when you're hurting!) but I'm feeling much better about myself.  I think I've learned a good lesson, some activity is better than none and it makes me feel better about myself. Also one of my grandson's had his opening day at baseball and hit a bases loaded triple! Go Dev! That makes me feel good too!!!!!

On the way home from work last night suddenly Lack of Motivation took control of my steering wheel turning my car to the exit ramp to go home!  It took several seconds for Determination to wrestle back control and I arrived safely at the Y.  To drive the message home to the reluctant parts of me I exercised longer and pushed myself...take that!!  Of course my body objected to that and retaliated so I ended up having to use my TENs unit night last night for my back and hip . I ended the day at 1600 calories but my carbs were 104 and mostly NOT the good kind and fat 80gms. All seems to be well today with the nutrition though. I've taken charge of my starchy carb cravings limiting them only whole wheat. My fat cravings were satisfied with an ounce of white cheddar and I'm managing the sweet cravings with chewing sugar-free gum and a sipping a diet rootbeer!  I'm short on fruit & veggies so far but I'll make up for it tonight. I'm still tired and achy and unmotivated but I just realized when I had all my energy the previous weeks I was drinking a lot of water and green tea and skipping the diet Coke.  I'm also getting headaches and body aches.  I'm definitely not drinking enough and when I do it's the wrong stuff this week. I think I had 3-4 cans of pop yesterday!  I'm going to go make myself some green or white tea and drink water and stay away from the chemicals in the pop and I'll see if things improve.

Making 2 steps forward and one step back on this healthy lifestyle trek this month. I've been going along great, getting in at the least 3-5 miles per day usually but have kinda crashed the last day or two. Saturday I burnt a ton on calories on FIVE hours of yard work. Sunday I hiked for about 1 & 1/2 hours at Girdled Rd Reservation with some of the Lighten Up group then later followed up with a walk with the kids to get in 8.8 miles!  Monday I worked around the house, ran errands etc and I even worked out at the Y after a really tough 45 minute water fitness class.  Tuesday I spent the day walking cemeteries doing my genealogy research. You really get a workout walking on the uneven ground in some of these old cemeteries and then un-burying headstones!  Even though I was exhausted afterwards my grandson Devin and I went to dinner at Cabanas after his karate (he got his black belt certificate!). Dev loves the children's chicken finger dinner. I got the chicken with pasta this time...yummy and just enough so that I was satisfied but not too full to GO WORK OUT! I did 40 minutes on the treadmill at 3.5 mph. After that I crashed. Bought a pint of Java Chip Frappuccino ice cream and ate 1/3 of the pint!  My mini vacation was over yesterday and I had to return to work but got breakfast on the way in. I managed a very light lunch to make up for it but finished the ice cream last night and some veggie chips as dinner. NOT so healthy and I just couldn't get motivated to work out at all.  Today I ate 2 breakfast burritos for breakfast and a tuna melt and Terra veggie chips for lunch. NOT good. That's 1340 calories already!!!  Good thing I had a late lunch!  I plan to eat a very light dinner and make myself work out extra hard at the Y.  That's the plan and I'm stickin' to it!!!  Tomorrow I WILL get back on track. The key for me is to get back on track as soon as possible otherwise I tend to wander into all the "bad" food territories and get lost for a while.   If I don't check in to say I found my way back within the next couple days call in a search party. I will probably be found in the dessert section!